Writing by Kyle Freelander
My first date with a nonhuman went as well as can be expected. Not that I was expecting much from it anyway. Okay, maybe I was. I was expecting fangs and drips of blood pouring down his cheek like he was a real-life Dracula. I mean, isn’t that what everyone expects when they hear vampire? But he wasn’t that at all. I didn’t expect that he would look so normal. Okay, he didn’t look normal. He was better than normal with light brown hair that fell against his tan skin like feathers, hitting just above the dark eye brows that made his eyes seem like emeralds. Vampire or not, that man was perfect.
You’re probably wondering why it is that I went on a date with a vampire in the first place, especially if I was expecting him to look like Dracula. Well, I don’t have an answer for you. All I can say for myself is that some of the movie representations of Dracula are quite sexy and then there’s the whole Twilight fad and, well, I couldn’t resist. I just had to know what it was like to go on a date with a vampire, what it was like to go on a date with a nonhuman.
Yes, I said it. I wanted to date a nonhuman. I was getting bored of all the human men blowing me off for video games and football games. Surely vampires didn’t care about such things. They would have mature and sophisticated interests, something to match their age. In that respect, my expectations weren’t too far off base. Tyler the vampire (I can’t help it if he made the alliteration himself) had no interest in video games and even less interest in sports. I’m not even sure he knew what a football was. He was more interested in books that could teach him something new, he had told me over dinner at a restaurant with white tablecloths.
Before you ask, no he hasn’t read Twilight. When I brought it up, his dark brows crinkled and he asked what the book was and, more importantly, if it would teach him something new. I smiled and said it might. I didn’t want to be the person to tell him that it was about sparkly vampires and how a human girl brings them together with the werewolves they had always hated. Maybe he would think I wanted to be like Bella or something –that I wanted to be the human that made Tyler the vampire risk everything just for love.
“It’s also a movie,” I added. His nose just wrinkled in response as he let the silence overcome us again. To be fair, Tyler the vampire had told me before he asked me out on the dating sight where his picture was conspicuously absent, that it had been awhile since he had been out on a date. Maybe the silence was because he was nervous. Worse yet, maybe the silence was because I was nervous under the surveillance of his green eyes that seemed to grow wider and wider each time I cut into my steak. I guess I should have ordered well done. Maybe I shouldn’t have ordered anything at all considering he hadn’t. I was beginning to think this date may have been a bad idea after all.
“Not that I like movies or anything,” I added, staring at the pool of red forming around my steak. It didn’t matter what I said though, there was no saving this date once Tyler the vampire reached across the table and drank the blood right off of my plate. There was no unseeing that, no matter how attractive he was. If he wanted food, he should have ordered his own.